JPMorgan: "Guess what?" WaMu: "What?" JPMorgan: "I pwn you."

Oh WaMu, it seemed not so long ago that you were flying high among large banking institutions. But, with all these banks that provided loans to people who couldn't afford them and grossly overcompensated underachieving executives, you've fallen victim to... well, your own actions. Hate it to break it to you, but you've been seized by the government and auctioned off to JPMorgan Chase & Co.

Don't worry, though. Just because you're currently stamped with "largest bank failure in U.S. history" doesn't mean it will remain that way; I'm sure there will be more after you...

.. But, for the record, you are the first.