Cake the man in peanut butter and let the seagulls have him

I hope Stewart Parnell, Pleader of the Fifth and President of the Peanut Corporation of America—the company responsible for the current salmonella outbreak in delicious peanut butter products—gets prosecuted to the full extent of the law. Maybe not to the extent that this ex-health and drug official in China got punished, but hopefully to the maximum extent of the U.S. law.

Justice system, don’t fail me now!